


What You Don't Tell Your Brothers

by tac_winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asphyxiation, Bunker, F/M, Half-Siblings, Hurt/Comfort, Male to Female, Marijuana, Pre-op, Rape, Recreational Drug Use, Transgender, Winchester Sister, mtf, self blame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 17:33:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19750480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tac_winchester/pseuds/tac_winchester
Summary: The reader is a much younger half-sister of the Winchester brothers, living in the bunker and helping with research for hunts. Whenever the boys are out, she goes to her friend's house to smoke and have a good time, but sometimes good things can turn sour very quickly.





	What You Don't Tell Your Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> There is a short yet graphic description of the rape. The reader is assigned male at birth and pre-operations but is still a female. She does take hormone replacement therapy treatments although it is not mentioned. Her half-brothers accept her. 
> 
> Please do not use this story to trigger yourself.

The Christmas lights lined the perimeter of the crowded room and were dimmed by the masses of smoke floating around the room. Despite the snow on the ground outside, warmth filled the barely insulated garage that was decorated with paintings and tapestries. Every flat surface has something on it no matter how long ago it should have been thrown out. An ashtray made its home every three feet or so, as marked by the ashes that never made it in. The foggy air smelled citrusy as well as like an old bowl of cereal, but that could have been the actual bowl of frosted flakes left out for the past two nights. My tongue sat in my mouth as a dry, heavy blob only capable of passing whatever drink I could find down my throat. The colorful lights and  _ Futurama _ playing in front of me did not help the blurry vision I was experiencing. 

This was a typical weekend for me since we had been stationed at the bunker for so long. We had moved there almost a year ago after the angels had fallen, and I started high school in the town nearby. Ever since I got my license when I turned sixteen, commuting to school while my half-brothers, Sam and Dean, were on hunts. Like Adam, I was another Winchester child born outside of the Campbell bloodline, but since I had been with John periodically when I was younger, I was closer to my older siblings albeit the age difference. I was now closer to being eighteen than ever, having been born when Dean was fifteen. Becoming part of the family had been difficult with having a different mom, especially between Dean and I. While at first I was yet another kid to take care of for Dean, he was able to empathize with my lost mother and being thrown into the hunting life. I couldn’t have asked for much better. 

High school in this small Kansas town, now in my senior year, gave me some balance and stability. Over the past year I was able to collect a small group of close friends to hang out with on weekends if the boys were on a hunt. Since I was so averse to becoming a hunter, they allowed me to stay at the bunker. It was for my own safety as well due to their many enemies. I couldn’t ever let others come to the bunker, and so I would “sneak” out while they were gone to my friend, Todd’s, house. Todd was in the same grade as me and seemed very popular because he always had people over his house. I managed to befriend him through our mutual classes, and he liked me enough to give me a place to relax. His mom was one of the laid-back kind and also had her friends over who would participate in our recreational activities. 

Todd always had marijuana in his garage and a plug on the way. Kansas does not seem like a very good place for this budding industry, but Todd had it all the time. I didn’t care that it was illegal in this state when I had smoked weed in other states, hoping the nation would finally change its mind. I would come home from these weekends like I had a two-hour long massage and would sleep off any remaining effects before the brothers got home, if they did. I at least made that limit for myself. 

Some weekends, Todd’s sexually fluid uncle who is twice our age would come over with his own and often higher grade of bud. His name was Jed, and I fooled around with him whenever we were in the same place. If Todd knew, he never said anything to me about it. Part of me thinks that him knowing would have been hot. 

February in Kansas brought me into lighter clothes rather than the bulky, heavy flannels I seemed to have no choice but to wear. After obtaining a job at a department store, I could afford to buy more of the clothes I wanted to achieve a more feminine figure. With my first paycheck, I stocked up on padded bras, panties, and other “female” undergarments. It was the most liberating part of my transitioning thus far. With the next paycheck, I got myself dresses for when the nicer weather came and t-shirts that were more form-fitting for under the flannels. This was around the same time I started going over Todd’s house, and he accepted his transitioning friend. 

Jed had always seen me as a girl even after the first time we fooled around where he slipped his hand under my panties. Despite being surprised, he took it as it came and we never had to discuss it. I wasn’t into fetishizing of my gender at all and somehow he understood that. 

This was my fifth weekend in a row over at Todd’s house. I wore a sunflower t-shirt dress with my best summer shoes. I finally learned how to do darker makeup and so I put that new skill to good use. After the last three hunts, my half brothers had been gone for two weeks already, but they continuously called to make sure all of us were fine. I had no idea when they would be home as I sank into the high-end couch cushions in between Todd and Jed’s old friend, whom I had just met, named Shane. While Shane was younger than Jed, he was still older than me by almost a decade. Even though I gave him plenty of room on the couch he scooched as close as possibly next to me to the point where his thigh was riding under mine. The attention to me both disgusted and intrigued me as the only other person who touched me was Jed, but something still made me carefully aware of Shane. His close proximity made me want to crawl away frantically like I had bugs on my skin. I stood up and made my way towards the kitchen, acting like I was looking to munch. 

Footsteps followed me, which I didn’t notice until the dark generic boots surrounded my own feet when I looked down. I began to turn around, sighing, “Oh thank goodness, Jed, I-”, only to have my voice muted by a hand over my lips. Shane’s rich eyes stared into mine and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I found it bitter and backed away as much as possible. 

“Jed is still in the garage,” Shane mumbled with his lips brushing my ear, and he pointed his thumb back to the garage door. I shuddered in his cage of arms as he braced himself on the granite counters behind me. The high made it harder to fight back, but I slid down to the ground between his arms and crawled towards the bathroom before I could eventually get up and run. His heavy, inebriated steps trailed behind me quick enough to where I could not shut the door in time, his hand pressed against the opposite side. “Let me in, baby. Jed told me you were a lot of  _ fun _ ,” he hissed.

A sharp kick to the door pushed me back until I was sprawled on the linoleum floor. My dress rode up my thighs and I shot up to cover myself as the door swung open more to reveal Shane. He quickly shut the door and locked it before pouncing on me like the prey I seemed to be. I kicked back away from him until my back hit the walk-in shower door. He once again cornered me and the intoxication on his breath burned my nostrils. He sloppily left kisses on my lips but more so on my face itself. His clumsy hands squeezed my padded bra over my dress and he seemed to like not finding anything. 

I gasped as this horny drunk man sucked a bruise into my neck while lifting up the skirt of my dress. “St-Stop, please,” I whimpered, seeming to go unheard. If I must endure this, I wanted no evidence for Sam or Dean to find. 

“Oh but pretty  _ girl _ ,” he growled as he hooked his fingers into my black lacy panties which perfectly held my small, noticeable bulge. “Look how excited you are for Daddy.” I flinched at his self-proclaimed name as I thought of my actual dad, who had taught me plenty of training to get out of this no matter how much or little of a boner I had. A greater need to fight flooded through me and I kicked out at Shane’s body where he lay between my thighs. He was startled but began to grab my thighs until I pulled myself up, ready to punch. The older man caught me off guard with an undercut to my jaw which bounced off my nose, causing a stream of blood to drip out of my nostrils, all the way down to the collar of my dress. I couldn’t breathe in one nostril as the taste on iron slipped down my throat, bypassing my tongue but still lingering in scent. 

Shane didn’t seem to care about the blood on the upper part of my body when he grabbed my throat with one hand and steadied himself above me with the other. His brown eyes now looked black in the yellow light of the bathroom since one of the three bulbs was out. With his pants pulled just below his ass, he began to rut underneath my balls after ripping away my panties. The punch to the nose had thrown me off my game, but as his head began to catch on my dry hole I twisted away as much as possible. He dug his thumb into my jugular even more to dissuade me from thrashing so much before he guided his dick to my hole with his other hand. The slick head made a blunt intrusion of my body as if it had only been prepared by pre-cum or spit. I dug my nails into the back of the hand that was choking me for him to hiss and let go. I gasped in large amounts of air and began to punch his head when he shoved further into me. The white, blinding pain split me in half as I fell back on the floor next to some blood droplets and possible tears. Shane hitched my legs up around his hips and fucked me like that, watching my flaccid dick bob with each push. 

When the predator finished, he put his clothes back on and adjusted himself in the tall mirror. In the reflection, I saw my ruined ass and the bruises forming on my knees and thighs. His semen dripped out of my hole and made a puddle beneath me. Shane stared down at the mess he made, kicked my shin one last time to hear me cry, and said, “Jed has spoiled you too much. It was about time that you got a real lay.” I choked on my tears as he unlocked the door and left. 

The attack that lasted minutes would bring pain to me for days. I meekly pulled the skirt of my dress back down after tucking as much as possible. Without bothering to fix anything else, I stumbled out of the party after nabbing a bottle of pink alcohol. My lower body throbbed and my head was swirling with blood loss, coming down from a high, and whatever the fuck just happened back there. The drive back to the bunker was slow and steady. Headlights would come towards me and I’d nearly swerve to avoid the bright light seering into my eyes. I pulled over at one point to quickly text Todd, “I got sick, sorry to ditch.”

After I gained my bearings again, I drove the rest of the way to the bunker without incident. My stomach curdled with memories coming back to me as if I had blacked out. Pulling into the dirt road, the pain only got worse with each bump. I could have thrown up when I saw the outside lights on to the bunker, signaling someone was home. I parked in the garage and sat in my car for a few minutes. The tightness in my stomach wasn’t going away any time soon. I tied a jacket that I found in my backseat around my waist to hide any indecency. Everything else that had happened was on full display, from the crusted streams of blood on my face and the hickeys down my neck. 

I kept my head down as I headed into the bunker. Tired murmuring came from below, most likely in the war room. My footsteps down the stairs alerted my brothers that I was back and they stood up to block my way to my bedroom. I shoved against their shoulders, ducking into the nearest bathroom and locking the door. They followed closely, calling my name and banging on the door when I closed it. 

“Open this door!” Dean raised his voice. “What is that on your face?” I slid down to the floor by the door. 

Sam came closer to the door with a more gentle voice, “Are you hurt? Can you please let one of us in?” 

I reached up and turned the lock, only allowing Sam in at this time. He immediately crouched on the floor in front of me, inspecting my swollen nose and busted lip. He cursed under his breath and fetched the first aid kit from below the sink. As he fixed me, he kept asking questions that I could not bear to answer in the moment. Sam accepted my silence for the time being until I could rest and think coherently. He pried the fruity alcohol bottle from my fingers with a slight smile. 

Both of my half-brothers sat with me for a few minutes before they let me go to sleep. Dean was still adamant about asking me what happened, but Sam eventually got him to knock it off. They reaffirmed that they were only a door away when they left me alone. 

I gathered some clothes and went to change in the bathroom where the hamper was, and I could clean the injuries I didn’t allow Sam to see. When I lifted the skirt of my dress, the caked blood between my thighs that had adhered to the fabric felt like peeling tape off of my skin, and the sight of my darkly stained panties made me release a whimper. I took them off and threw them in the hamper, wincing as I had to bend to collect them. I passed my reflection in the mirror and choked. The linear bruises around my neck, the size of a man’s large hands, were already starting to grow a deep purple. A wave of nausea made me start to quiver with disgust and realization for what had happened to me less than an hour ago. I clutched onto the white edge of the bathroom sink with my broken nails, lined with blood from scratching his hands and arms. No matter how much I heaved, nothing came to the surface but bile and alcohol. I covered myself with a hoodie and sweatpants, no longer wanting to see how I looked. 

I returned to my room. Thoughts kept creeping into my mind about the night that I wanted to shove into a box and never see again. As tempted as I was to go sleep in one of my brother’s beds, possibly the memory foam mattress, being alone recharged me in a way unlike any other. At some point I took my obligatory stoner’s nap. 

The sleep was tense and restless as certain positions made my body flare up in agony. Waking up in the morning brought a hangover of pain in a more raw form. Trying to move was deemed impossible until some of the cramps subsided. My siblings would be expecting me any minute now, or perhaps they wouldn’t due to my “rough night”. I didn’t feel like going over or remembering what happened either way. 

Sam carefully knocked on my door to let me know he was coming, and Dean followed him inside. Sam held a plate of toast and fruit for me to eat. Just staring at the food made me want to regurgitate everything I had, but I tried to pick at it anyway. He sat on the edge of my bed as I moved around the food on my plate. Nothing he could do, even bribing me with my favorite fruits, would bring me to telling him the truth of what happened last night. As he took a deep breath in to begin talking, I stopped him. 

“You don’t have to worry about last night. I just fell while I was drunk,” I blurted out.

Sam tilted his head a little, staring down at the bed. “I didn’t know you drink,” he said. The truth was, I tended to stay away from alcohol. It usually just brought me down or complicated my motor skills. It’s not as fun as weed. 

I was quick to come up with a lie. “My friend’s birthday was yesterday and I decided to party a little bit, that’s all,” I said.

Sam’s mouth formed a grim line that I knew all too well at this point. My lies were as transparent as glass to his all-knowing self. He rested his hand on mine which had stopped playing with my hood and looked me in the eyes as much as I could handle. 

“Y/N, you don’t have to lie to me. You can tell me what happened. Or, if you prefer, you can tell De-”

“Don’t tell Dean!” I hissed. The last thing we needed to do was tell my hot-headed brother about what some nobody did to me, no matter how much my bones still ached nor how matter how much I feared the moment I had to stand. He’s not worth the trouble Dean would put himself through in finding him and making him regret ever looking at me. I didn’t even know what to tell Todd and Jed in order to never see Shane again. 

Sam’s eyes widened a little in surprise of my outburst before he asked, “Why not?” I kept quiet, feeling I had revealed too much without saying anything at all. He scooted closer and ended up leaning on my thigh the slightest bit, making me wince. Any part of my body in that region was on fire, and it was growing to be more noticeable the longer I sat up. “Please tell me what really happened.”

None of his pleas cut through the wall I had already started constructing around myself in order to forget this ever happened. I trembled, feeling sick from lying but also anxiety from remembering. Sam moved the plate of half-eaten fruit and toast before pulling me into his arms where I realized tears were dripping out of my eyes. He let go when my chest stopped heaving with pain, both emotional and physical. 

I watched my half brother leave in defeat as I attempted to finish the plate of food he graciously brought me. I knew eventually, probably as soon as Dean started interrogating me, that I would spill what happened. It would be better to talk about it and release this, but the fear of what would happen afterwards ate at me. While they were off on their hunts, I had an entirely different life that they wouldn’t approve of completely. Half of the people I hang out with are merely temporary, always friends connected to Todd or Jed who are often plugs or into much worse things than I am. I’m well aware that I do not surround myself with the best people, but the fun and the rush I get from it have never ended like last night did. Part of me wondered if anyone else, perhaps Jed, knew what Shane was capable of. That was a dark train of thought to run down. 

Eventually, I had to get up. I couldn’t rely on Sam to wait on me while I sulked in bed, as understandable as that would be. The first stretch pulled at all my sore parts and popped stiff joints. Spreading my legs to get to the edge of the bed made we hiss in pain as sealed wounds seemed to split open the slightest bit. I ignored it the best I could and hoped it wouldn’t bleed through the seat of my sweatpants. As I passed the mirror on my dresser, I pretended it wasn’t there so I wouldn’t have to see myself. 

Sam and Dean were in the library where the eldest had already poured himself a glass of whiskey with the bottle within arm’s reach. They both appeared to be tense, hunched over their book or tablet like it was a study guide for the hardest exam. As I stepped on an older floorboard it creaked, and both men snapped their heads towards me. Sam managed a soft smile, but I could tell Dean was seething about something on his mind. 

“Hey guys,” I said after clearing my throat. “Dean, are you okay?”

The hand that he was resting his head on slammed down on the wooden table with a loud bang, startling me enough to jolt back. His eyes followed me like I was a glass vase about to break, a fragile little sister. “Am I okay?” he rasped, and then paused. “Sam and I have been worrying all night and day about what happened to our  _ baby sister _ .” I frowned at the way he spoke of me, but I felt that I was in no position to argue. 

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, unsure of what else there was to say. It was my fault I went out. It was my fault I didn’t leave sooner. It was my fault for being such a slut. 

“What are you sorry for? Whatever bastard that did this to you, battered you up, is about to feel sorry pretty soon. Where were you? Who was he?” Dean’s voice was stern yet I knew his anger was directed towards the man who hurt me.

“Who said it’s a he?” I asked, stalling him.

“Oh so it was a girl?”

“No, I’m just-”

“Y/N!” Sam lightly snapped, catching on to me dodging every question they have for me. If they knew what had happened to me they wouldn’t blame me for beating around the bush, but part of me still felt like protecting the other part of my life that came whenever they were gone. Despite what occurred there, Todd’s house was a safe haven where I could do what I wanted without the worry of the supernatural world just outside his garage door. As much as I loved working with my half-brothers by researching, sometimes I needed time where the thoughts of creatures like djinns and chimeras didn’t crawl under my skin. 

“Please, just tell us what happened. We care about you and want to help in any way we can,” Sam pleaded, staring up at me with shiny hazel eyes. 

The sight of my brother on the verge of tears brought me down from my defensive state. They deserved to know, with how much they have done for me in letting me stay. I sat down at the table with Dean following in suit and began the explanation of why I was there and what ensued that night in the most vague way possible, censoring the parts I was too embarrassed to say aloud. It took a while, between tears of remembrance and the emotions of my brothers as they listened and reacted to what I had to say. By the end, snot hung from my nose and onto my hoodie along with tears that dripped down my neck. Sam and Dean’s eyes were bloodshot as well from holding back the tears they didn’t want me to see. 

Sam was the first to get up and wrap his arms around me over the back of the chair. I heard Dean’s chair slide back as I buried my face in Sam’s biceps, tears flowing freely all over again. In the embrace of my brothers, my blood, I finally felt safe. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
